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The elements in magick are symbols, metaphors and part of a rather complicated taxonomy. The idea of "controlling" and "using" one of them is an over- simplification of their function. They all exist in all things and in all people.
In my way of element magick, elements are a wild power of nature and they are kind of like…. gods? In the way that they deserve respect. Just like you can't control the nature, you shouldn't try to fully control an element. Think of them as big cats. It is possible to work together, familiarize but not possible to tame them 100%. But it is fully possible to get the help of an element if you aren't trying to overpower it. For example, i work with air a lot since my childhood. I feel like i have the strongest bond with it out of all elements. I can even use the wind like a pendulum. But that's all because i approach the elements with full respect. When I call them for help and i am done, i gently thank them and let them go and as long as i keep my respectful bond, they help me with their powers. If i was disrespectful, next time they aren't as cooperative.