How can I ask for peace from a loved one who has passed away?
How can I ask for peace from a loved one who has passed away?
My best friend passed away suddenly 2 years ago, and I am still searching for some peace about it. The dreams I have about him have been pretty negative (me seeing him dead, etc) and I don't feel like he's a part of me or with me. How can I reconnect with him? I have done spells and rituals on-and-off for over a decade, but I am not a regular practicing witch. However, I do have ready access to oils, candles, herbs and crystals. Any guidance on this would be appreciated, as I am weary of feeling tormented by my dear friend's abrupt departure.
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You need to ground, cleanse and meditate, then contact your friend whom passed and have yall release each other. spend a little time every day grounding and meditating
I find that people who can't feel their loved ones after they have past are simply not paying attention to the person on the other sides signals or clues. Messages are very subtle and may seem coincidental but they are not. I agree with grounding yourself but also listen and pay attention the the world around you a bit closer. A song on the radio, random feathers showing up in weird places, finding dimes all the time are all ways they try to show you that they are here. Noticing a certain bird or animal that reminds you of them. Once you acknowledge its them and trust it you will get even more.
Thank you for this. I usually just write off anything I experience as a coincidence. Because how do I really know? I guess I just have to trust it more. I do light a candle for him with some oils every week. I am reminded of him every day by many things…so it is not that I don't remember him. I just don't have peace or closure, and I don't feel comforted by him. I still can't make sense of the fact that he is gone. I wish I could connect with him in a positive way somehow.
I think, maybe, you would be best served by finding peace with death.
I really should, but how? He was taken from us suddenly, it is not fair or peaceful at all. I can accept it, which I have, but I do not know how to ever feel peaceful about such a cruel event.
What you are doing is obsessing over something that you have no control of and that is incredibly unhealthy. I suggest, highly suggest, that you see a therapist about this.
Death isn't cruel, it just is. You're going to die and I am. You can't stop it. We're all going to die one way or another, and isn't it, honestly, better to die in a sudden, unexpected way than to be sick and linger for a long time? I have watched people linger, so that death was a prayed for relief. It is not a nice way to go. When I go, I hope it is unexpected and I have no time to long for it.
As for him, I am sure he is not suffering as you are. Depending your belief system, he may have forgotten you entirely. The best thing you can hope for for a deceased loved one is that they have released their life issues so they can move on, wherever it is they may go next. In my own belief system, (and I hesitated to mention this earlier because I didn't want to upset you further but I'm saying it now because I think you really need to move on so he can), a spirit cannot move on until the living let it go. This is why some cultures refuse to speak the name of the dead, lest it distract them from moving forward. I don't take it that far though.
I have lost quite a few people myself, suddenly and lingeringly, as you will in your life, if you're lucky enough to live so long. I have an ancestor altar where I place pictures of the beloved dead. I leave offerings for the psycopomps on the dark of the moon, so they can have nourishment in their travels between worlds, in thanks for their loving guidance of my beloved dead. I cook the favorite foods of my beloved dead and tell their stories around the dinner table on Samhain. If my beloved dead happen to stop by for a few words, that is awesome! If not, well, perhaps that means they have moved on and are beyond my reach, and that is great too. I suggest to you that this is a comforting and loving way to honor your dead while making peace with death itself and not driving yourself crazy.
And you can pray to your beloved dead too, just like a God. The Gods will not mind. They don't have to answer in words for you to have the comfort of having talked to them. If that's too weird, write a letter and burn it. Many cultures believe that that which is consumed by fire here is taken up in the smoke to the Gods and ancestors, though some prefer to send gifts for the ancestors water, or underground (this is why we throw coins in wells.) You can choose.
But please, do find someone to talk to to help you work through this time. Two years is a long time to pine and there are bereavement counselors who specialize in helping you get through this.