Any advice for witches in the closet?
Any advice for witches in the closet?
I'm in college and I just started to learn about the world of witchcraft, but I'm not ready to tell my friends and family about it. My family is super religious and won't hear me out fro what witchcraft really is, and I'm scared if I tell my friends they'll judge me and won't really like me anymore. I've noticed when I'm doing research about alters and gathering supplies that it usually looks pretty obvious and if someone was to walk into my room, they'd know exactly what I am up to. Is there any advice you can give to someone who wants to remain hidden, but still wants to her best to grow as a witch?
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create a closet or shoebox altar, have a purse with an unnoticeable inner compartment for portable items of your faith, use supplies that are small and unassuming (Like jewelry, flowers, sigils in notebooks) and disguise your quirks by being hipster
The truth is, Witches do not need special tools or altars. Anybody who tells you otherwise is probably in the altar and tool business.
Most of the magick I do is on the astral plane and anyone who sees me would just think I was meditating, or maybe sleeping. I do a lot of work in my kitchen though, with wooden spoons and kitchen knives. And when I'm doing a full on ritual, well, the neighbors might think it weird when they see me sweeping the yard, but I've got enough neighbors who play loud music regularly that my drums are just a thing. I have a special boline, but I grow my own herbs and I use it for cutting them. If I didn't, I don't know why I'd have one, though I do use it in rituals to honor Gaia too.
This isn't to say that I'm in the closet, because I'm not. I've got altars in every room and gardens dedicated to Gods but they're not for witchcraft, they're for religion- Actually each one was made as part of an agreement with a specific God/dess. I'm also in my 40s and own my own house and I've been collecting this stuff since I was a teenager. It is expensive. Feel free to buy yourself a Birthday gift once in awhile, but don't feel like you need anything to practice witchcraft, because you don't.
Since you are in college, I highly recommend you take the opportunity to take some classes that will help you on your way, and maybe meet a few of your academic requirements while you're at it. I still rely heavily on what I learned in Anthropology(there was a class in my school called Magick, Witchcraft and Religion, and another called The Ritual Process, and there's comparative religion classes, of course. And Feminist Anthropology will give you the real deal on Matriarchy, rather than the revisionist nonsense you get from a lot of Pagan authors.), Botany and Field Botany, Dendrology, Linguistics and Psychology and if I were ever into crystals I would have certainly taken a Geology class. I didn't get interested in Astrology until well after college, I wish I'd taken some Astronomy classes. My husband took lots of Physics and he said that helps him with his magick too. Of course, he is a musician and often musics his magick. (I know another male witch who uses physics heavily in a magical system he calls Quantum Magick) If you plan to use your witchcraft for healing, I suggest some human anatomy and physiology classes too. If you are into any art form, study it. You can use any sort of art in witchcraft- including cookery.
The most important skills you will learn that will carry you through anything you do in magic is meditation, visualization and lucid dreaming. These will take you far and they do not need any special tools. There are lots of books on the subject of lucid dreaming, and lots of YouTube videos too. Yoga helps with focus and meditation and classes are usually offered at college rec centers and any art classes will help you with visualization. It is also important to start a journal. I use a small sketch pad that I carry with me everywhere. I need a new one about once every three months these days, but when I was learning, I could fill one up in a few weeks just taking notes from my reading.
Thank you that was SUPER helpful to me
Do not talk about witch club to mundane they won't understand and you could hurt your career and relationship's. My advice is to connect with other witches and be open with them rather :)
I'm still in the closet to my family, (I've been a witch for about 2 and a half years now), but I'm open to my friends.
Thing is, with them I generally say pagan instead (cause I'm both) that way they'll generally ask me to explain.
If I don't care about someones opinion or if I don't really like them I'll just say witch though, because it's quick and easy and most people think they know what witchcraft is.
Hope this helps.
But if that's still too open for you the closet alter works (I had a shelf in the corner of my closet I dedicated to the purpose) and I had a sort of to go alter in my tarot purse, a small purifying/banishing negativities satchel, and a small gemstone for each of the elements, as well as the actual tarot deck.
The tarot deck did catch some people's attention, but the satchel and stones seemed pretty normal to everyone.
My final piece of advice is about books, if your super concerned that someone will notice a bunch of "How to be a witch" or "paganism fo dummies" books on your shelf, you can either keep those with your alter or focus on getting books about specific topics that most people either don't understand or don't find weird, ex: mythology books, books on divination (fortune telling), or a specific form of divination (runes, iching, lenormand, etc.), books on astrology, astral projection (out of body experiences), how to start an herb garden, how to identify rocks/gemstones, really any witchy thing you want to know more about can seem normal in the right setting.
Hi, I am not even sure whether to call myself a witch or not, yet, so it feels a bit presumptious of me to be answering your question. I am in the closet to everyone except my husband, and even to him I have simply told him that I am researching and learning for a writing project. I will let him realise for himself later once I have convinced him of the positive effect this is having on me. I have a few items around the house and we both had a good laugh about my very tiny crystal ball, but otherwise I keep it all out of sight since out of sight it out of mind in his case!
So, if discretion is key, how about investing in an electronic tablet that you can use as an e-reader to read witchy and pagan books without anyone noticing, and also to make your own notes. As each persons practice is their own, you could keep a book of shadows on a tablet. I personally prefer the idea of a wonderful, fat leatherbound book and a fountain pen, but we can't have it all and it's the learning that's important! And it would save a lot of space. You can read witchy stuff during boring lectures!
Morning gives some very good advice above and, if you work on the astral plane, you just have to visualise your equipment for it to be available to you, maybe you will "find" what you need as you explore. But if you do want to keep things on earthly terrain, gemstones and crystals are not too out of the ordinary - you can just say you collect them. An athame, if you want one, can just be a letter-opener type, and a plain one would not draw too much attention. Mine is made of bone so as not to look too much like I've stolen the Sword of Gryffyndor from Hogwarts and draw attention. I'll just say it's a letter opener or a butter knife. A chalice can be an ordinary cup, glass or egg cup that you just use for your craft, hidden in plain sight. Mine is wooden - my grandfather made it - and if asked I would just say so and say it's an ornament.
If you want to use altar cloths, I'm sure you don't need a special cloth, just the right colour - try buying either coloured square scarves, or squares of fabric that you can pass off as scarves, they shouldn't turn any heads. I decided not to buy altarcloths with pentacles or any other inscription - I'm just going to buy some squares of fabric - and if I research the meanings of certain fabrics that will affect my purchase - and use an altar tile for my pentacle each time.
I should think a wand is the most problematic thing - but if that's all you have to hide, it can probably be easily concealed within a box and tucked away. I don't have a wand yet, I'm waiting for one to be shown to me in nature that I can accept as a gift, but I might whittle any stick that is presented to me, it will be very plain and, if anyone asks, just my lucky stick or my attempt at whittling.
Pentacles you can laugh off dismissively by saying you were a goth and you love your pentacle, or you just love the jewellery. You can wear it discreetly under your clothing, or it could serve as your ritual wear and I suppose if not as your ritual wear then as your altar tile. Tiny, but effective, I can't see why not.
Gemstones and essential oils are not out of place in any home these days, ditto incense so you have no need to worry about that. Ritual can be done silently and quickly if need be. Better to do some practise than none.
If you want to read Tarot and feel self-conscious about having a Tarot deck lying around, you can do this with a plain deck of cards if you really want to. The different suits compare to the Tarot deck, with the exception of the major arcana cards. Hopefully someone will correct me if I'm wrong - I think hearts are cups, clubs are wands, diamonds are pentacles and spades are swords. Obviously a reduced experience if you want the imagery of Tarot cards, but if you get good with playing cards, imagine how you'll fare with Tarot later on.
The other thing you could do - and I am starting to do this myself - is to give ordinary objects significant meaning. For example, I just bought myself a pen made of Wenge wood, which is said to be good for learning. It's my dedicated pen for my book of shadows. To everyone else, it's just a nice pen. Other items can have a specific material or colour that means something to your personal craft journey. I think that found objects have a particular resonance - and finding things usually means nature and involves stones, sticks, shells etc - nothing out of the ordinary and these could comfortably be displayed in a nice bowl as "souvenirs" from visiting other places. I have so many pebbles from various places. I once got some confiscated at airport security as I thought it would be a good idea to put them in a sock to stop them from getting damaged on the journey. It didn't occur to me that I basically had made a cosh.. Let's not forget that our forebears were largely people of little means who would have gathered and made tools, or done without, so worst case scenario is that your own cupped hand is your chalice, and your finger your wand.
If you haven't done so already (and forgive me if you have done this but your name didn't show up on your post) chose a Pagan name for yourself so you can get a new e-mail address, facebook profile etc and join various forums without worrying that an internet search will bring confrontation to your door. Don't tell anyone in ordinary life your pagan name and don't tell anyone in pagan life your given name - job done. I initially did this as a privacy exercise, but actually finding my name became very meaningful and a wonderful experience.
I love Morning's idea of practising the craft on the Astral plane - I think practising Astral projection at the same time would lend a real power to your experience if you can keep awake ( I struggle).
Lastly, if someone were to notice your equipment and ask questions, you can choose whether to laugh it off and say you're just messing about, or whether to tell them. Don't be put off or intimidated by other people's lack of knowledge and understanding. You could always just tell them you're a Pagan or experimenting with your spirituality. No need to talk about the craft and then you're not risking anyone asking you questions which you shouldn't answer.
Lastly AGAIN (because I just can't stop talking), a good way of easing people into telling them is to start off doing Pagan things in the open without making a big deal of it, and making it a positive, inclusive experience. Do your ritual in private, but take them some baking for Lammas, point out the moon phases and the season changes, mark Yule as well as Christmas with a traditional feast. My explanation is that I feel connected to the ancient people that trod on the ground I tread, and I want to celebrate to feel that connection. Pretty much anyone can understand that.
Good luck on your journey!
I would suggest trying to make it look like your building or have a small alter to you families god or religion. Say something like you found this online and it said it was a good way for people your age to get closer touch with your God or religion.
I went through exactly the same thing and in a RE lesson decided to present a powerpoint to my class about wicca. At first there were some sniggering but now everyone is fully supportive and asks fabulous questions about rituals and such. This sounds like the standard thing to say but honestly if they are real friends they will support you but if not then don't give a stuff about them. As for your family, you can legally make your own choices about religion however do not make the same mistake I did and talk about it costantly as they may get annoyed. They will get used to it eventually but in the meantime just go off quietly if you need to performat a ritual. Above all don't worry and have faith in the watchtowers and deities
Of course , many are now coming out of the 'closet*. { as to our identity} . However , as occultists there are so many things that still rely on secrecy regarding the ''Rites of Initiation'' , as to working in groups towards some purpose,-{ whatever that may be } .
There are , of course, many things I am not previewed in knowing ,- that's secrecy.